An Ode to the 70s Dude

70sSexyI don’t know about you, but for me, when it comes to visual stimulation (e.g., PORN), there’s a big black hole between the 70s and the aughts.  The guys who dominated “the look” in those Falcon Studios days were all, well, so 80s.  I mean, Jeff Stryker?  A sour-pussed little shorty who wore more makeup than my mom?  Really?  Is that all you got?

It was the era of the super-inflated, blow dried, big-haired, tattoo-free, shaved-ass mannequin.  B. O. R. I. N. G.  And the sex?  Also, boring.  Brought to us by directors who thought they were auteurs, choreographing an overlit pyramid of multi-fucking sexbots, veal pen residents brought together and stirred to mild consternation.

When you look back at the “vintage” porn of the 70s, you don’t see the chiseled bods, the product of steroids and MetRx and speed.  OK, 70s bods were definitely the product of speed.  I know, AIDS as Metaphor and all that as reflected in the porn of the 80s, the big muscles as psychological defense against death.

But the point is, those 70s dudes were hotter.  More sexually athletic.  Nastier.  Sexier.  They fucked harder and faster, unlike the art-directed scenes of the 80s.  They were lean and mean and had bodies meant to do things – not bodies built in gyms designed to go back to the gym and get better at working out in the gym.

BedroomEyesAre the guys in these two pics 70s porn stars?  Almost certainly not.  Although I ended up looking up my “Malone” the other day by reader request (hey Dan!), and found the real model, I generally don’t wanna know who the guys in my collection of hotpix really are.  I mean, it’s not (just) because I want to objectify them.  But because look – I’m never gonna meet the guy, never mind befriend him, or date him, or even sleep with him.  So why not take the image and just make of it in my head what I want?

Maybe I like thinking of them as 70s porn stars because, go figure, sometimes when it comes to sexual attraction, there’s something more alluring, more possible, in the promise of what could have been than there is in what could be…

3 Comments on An Ode to the 70s Dude

  1. Ha ha. I never did thank you for the Malone info. Thanks!
    Stryker? LMAO. What an ego.

    • Right? And the only reason his dick looked so big was because he was so damn short! Yeah, something about a guy wearing LIP GLOSS that just doesn’t work for me 🙂

  2. Love the socks. 🙂

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