November 2014

EPIC Numbers for “Apollo’s Curse” AND still time to get in on the Bradsgiving sale!

November 30, 2014 // 0 Comments

I mean, wow.  On the last two BookBubs, with .99 titles, I got about 800 sales on day one and 200 on day two.  Obviously there is a vast difference in people’s minds between .99 and free.  6,300 downloads on day one.  345 so far this bright and early morning. I also took the advice of a fellow writer and did Kindle Countdown deals on my other books.  And yeah, I’ve definitely seen a jump in sales from the combo of “Apollo” free and the others on sale. The red line is sales, the blue line is Kindle Unlimited borrows.  So, there’s a chance that blue line may pop – I’m told that if people with KU subscriptions clicked on the “Read for free with KU” button for “Apollo” instead of the one-click “buy” button for the freebie, I’ll get KU borrow credits.  But they have to read 10% of the book before the ‘zon gives it to you as a borrow. I wonder how many people actually read their freebies. [MORE]

It’s HERE! Colum’s Viking Captivity IV: TRIAL BY COMBAT is LIVE!

November 28, 2014 // 3 Comments

IT’S HERE! THE WAIT IS OVER! Colum and Viggo have taken their place at the court of King Godfrid, in advance of the Vikings’ great battle against Charlemagne and the Franks. And while they wait, the strange, dark sexual games he and Viggo play together are now skirting the edges of mortal danger… But there’s another danger, too – treachery is afoot, and Colum falls into the hands of his enemies! Could Niall, his friend-turned-slave, really be his betrayer? When reason and logic are no match for the forces marshaled against Colum, there’s only one way he can regain his freedom – TRIAL BY COMBAT! http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/colums-viking-c…/1120832789… https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/497031 https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-colum039svikingcap… http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QAM83DI [MORE]

The Evidence is In! All Reasonable People Concur!

November 27, 2014 // 0 Comments

The evidence is in! All reasonable people concur! “Flogged into Soggy Mansex by the Flying Spaghetti Monster” is AWESOME! “This is a quick (and dirrrrty!) tale of the Great Miracle wrought by His Noodleness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster: to bring science and rational thought back to the dark hinterlands of Texas. To do so, He recruits the seemingly lone sane man at Jumbo Mart; him being gay and from New York makes him that much more fabulous! And His Noodleness will thank this Pastafarian in the most intimate, and satisfying, way… Get this quick; this is in limited release for the holidays, and you don’t want this to pass you by!” “This is the bestest atheist holiday story ever, crafted by my favorite writer. If you don’t rate this story 5 stars, it’s obvious you work for The Opposition. I will pray (snort) that Saint Stephen and Saint Christopher help you mend your ways…. Incidentally, I’ll never look at the pasta [MORE]

First draft of Colum IV is COMPLETE! ON TARGET for release this weekend!

November 26, 2014 // 0 Comments

Whooo!!!  Man I am on FIRE right now.  Yeah, the best thing I’ve done in a while is to take a break from Rocky and Dex, do some humor and some SEXIN’,  and this episode of Colum has even HAWTTER sexin’ than ever!  It’s been EXHAUSTING, writing all that drama and unhappiness for R&D.  But that’s what drives a plot, right?  Things will start looking up for the two of them once I get Rocky off to art school, and Dex, well, at least he’ll be making money in Nashville 🙂 In the meantime, don’t forget to do your secular holiday shopping and pick up your copy of “Flogged into Soggy Mansex by the Flying Spaghetti Monster”! 🙂 [MORE]

He is Cooked! “Flogged into Soggy Mansex by the Flying Spaghetti Monster” is LIVE!

November 25, 2014 // 0 Comments

Your holiday dinner is ready, my fellow unbelievers!  Come and get it! Campbell is home for the holidays in dreary Dustbin, Texas. Even a good parking spot is a freakin’ “Christmas Miracle” to his family, and his secular gay ass is dying to get away from it all. Then the Flying Spaghetti Monster appears, and spirits him off for a long session of hot spaghetti and meatballs sexin’. But the FSM has a Hidden Agenda! He doesn’t just want Campbell’s body – His Noodliness needs Campbell’s help to perform the Ultimate Holiday Miracle! [MORE]

Surely I was Touched by His Noodly Appendage! My Holiday Story is DONE!

November 24, 2014 // 4 Comments

Written in about 24 hours in a TORRENT of inspiration!  If you’re not my Facebook friend, and you should be, here’s a taste from the opening 🙂  I’ll be sending it out for publication tonight!  Gonna be on the ‘zon only – pricing it at .99 on which I’ll only get .35 or so as a royalty.  But, I can get 1.33 or whatever the borrow rate is on Kindle Unlimited – and a fat sack of cash would be my very best holiday present to myself ever! WARNING:  Given the extremely masterful quality of this work of satirical literature, the decision has been made at the highest levels of this one man show that we will follow the example of that other great purveyor of fantastical content, the Walt Disney Company™, and release this story for A LIMITED TIME ONLY. After Christmas, this classic work shall go “back in the vault.”  Or, back in the closet where we store our fake Christmas tree and a bunch of other shit.  Anyway.  Pay up and read [MORE]

Colum IV is at 10,000 words! And a surprise announcement :)

November 23, 2014 // 2 Comments

Man, I am crankin’.  I haven’t got 10k words in a week in a while.  Bringing back an old character from a previous episode, too 🙂  This one will be done soon, and ready for your pleasure by (sometime) this coming weekend! And I’ve had a bit of a brainstorm, thanks to two different things going on out there in Selfpubistan.  First, if you don’t know, there’s this story out there.  A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay.  I know!  But you know what’s REALLY crazy?  It’s 15 pages and it’s selling for $2.99, and yes, it IS selling!  Okay admittedly it’s hilarious.  But still. And it’s also the time of year that all the “holiday” stories come out.  You know, sentimental stuff about dysfunctional relationships/families magically healed by a Christmas Miracle, etc etc etc.  Oh, with puppies, don’t forget puppies.  And wise grandmas.  And…YECCH!  No way am I doing that stuff. But.  I do [MORE]

HOLY CRAP! I gotta finish Rocky and Dex soon – Country stars coming out of the closet all over the place!

November 21, 2014 // 0 Comments

Man, this keeps happening to me!  I publish “Given the Circumstances,” in which Roger the QB has to quit football to be with his gay lover…and three months later, Michael Sam comes out and it’s no big deal.  Now I’m writing a novel with a country western singer who’s deeply closeted and…this happens!  (And how cute is Billy Gilman, seen here, eh?) http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/11/21/us-two-country-music-stars-come-out-as-gay-in-solidarity/ http://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/music/2014/11/20/watch-country-singer-billy-gilman-comes-out-gay Don’t get me wrong.  All of these events are GREAT.  But it all reminds me of what Tom Wolfe said about satire (quoting “Muggeridge’s Law”) – that there’s no longer anything so crazy you can make up that doesn’t come true before you can publish it, basically. I’m going to have to just stop writing closeted characters soon, because soon NOBODY will [MORE]

OH YEEEEAAAHHH! A HOT EXCERPT from Colum’s Viking Captivity IV: TRIAL BY COMBAT!

November 20, 2014 // 2 Comments

Yep, getting close!  About 2/3 of the way done.  And yes, there’s a new subtitle.  I was going to put Colum’s life in jeopardy with a heresy trial, but from my research, it turns out that nobody was put to death for heresy for 600 years, from 400 CE to 1000 CE.  (That’s Christian Era, that’s what historians, and atheists, use instead of Anno Domini 🙂 )  So that’s meant a change in the plot.  Now, the title is changing…it’s no longer “Trial by Fire,” but rather “Trial by Combat”!  You’ll see how that plays out in the finished version 🙂 WARNING WARNING ULTRA HIGH INTENSITY PERVERSION AHEAD!  DO NOT CONTINUE if you are easily offended, unless you’re one of those right wing kooks who’d love to make me rich by giving me some publicity by denouncing me!   DANEVIRKE – 810 A.D. Colum shivered again, the earthworks cold beneath his body.  He had the fur cloak that Viggo had bestowed on [MORE]