Wow. This last month has been insane. I’ve gone from having a respectable supplemental income to cracking this shit wide open. Yeah. Believe it or not, I am in line to be one of the Top 100 authors in the Kindle Select/Unlimited program for February…somewhere in the rankings between 51 and 100. Holy shit snacks, right?
So of course ever since this all broke open, I’ve been running like a rabbit, pubbing pubbing pubbing. Stepfuckers, rock stars, billionaires… Wow. I’m just…a little worn out at last. The sheer exhilaration of my new success was like a drug – hell, better than a drug! Because the high just got better each time I checked my sales stats (about 20 times a day). It was like playing a slot machine that paid out on every play. How could that not jack you up!
The thing about success in this biz is that it’s transitory, unreliable, irregular. A super massive February, with a new novel out and on the bestseller list, won’t be repeated in March. But shit, if it’s like 1/2 as much, I’m still golden. 1/3 as much, it’s still “replacement value” on my paychecks. But even that depends on pubbing, pubbing, pubbing…
I’m very lucky right now that I have my $tepfucker$. It’s been the easiest money I’ve ever made! I love these guys, and I’ve still got gas in that tank – when it feels like I’m just phoning ’em in, I’ll stop. I hate those writers who run a series into the ground when the characters are totally used up, because they’re just cashing a check.
What I feel like I need to do is never stop writing. What I know I need to do is take a breath. Did I mention that I’m quitting my day job? Yep! In a couple weeks, I’ll be a FULL TIME WRITER. After 2.5 years of getting up at 4 am, 3 am, even 2 am sometimes, and cranking out wordage before going to work for someone else, all that time and effort has paid off.
It’s going to be hard to shake the feeling I’ve conditioned into myself all this time – that frantic sense that my writing is on the clock, that I’ve got to, got to, got to get my word count by 6:30 am before I have to “quit” that job for my other job – the one that, until lately, paid more bills than this one. I can SLOW DOWN. It’s going to be a mental adjustment for sure.
I know I’m ready. I’ve got the work ethic, FSM knows. I’m self-directed enough already that I not only don’t need a clock, I need to NOT be on a clock. I need to allow my borderline ADD to let me just walk away from whatever I’m doing to go do laundry or go to the gym or watch a sitcom (Broad City OMG so funny) without feeling like, oh, I still have X hours before I can step away from the computer at Y time. I’ll be paid for my LABOR and not my TIME. I won’t have to warm a chair X hours a day to prove I’m “productive.” Some people can’t handle that much freedom, they freeze up without someone telling them what to do and when. They go full time as writers and freak out. Not me 🙂
It’s harder for me to manage the other swing of that pendulum- the one that says, time to slow down, to rest, to let the creative well refill from the water table now and then. It’s not a crime to publish less than one novel and three stories a month 🙂 OK the novel was in progress for some time, but still.
So. I need to let myself off the hook a little for the rest of this month, until the day job is over. One more $tepfucker$ before the end of February – Amsterdam here we come 🙂 That I can manage by the 28th. If “Christopher Blue” takes off, I’ll hop on that too, but I’m not going to kill myself worrying about it.
Then, March 1, with all the time in the world and nothing else to concentrate on and nowhere to be at X o’clock every day, I need to return my attention to Marc and Jesse and “Would I Lie to You?” Short stories are great for fast $ injections, but about 1/3 of the money I’ve made this month has been from “Have a Little Faith in Me.” I think I’ve got the balance on this one between backstory/character development (some people hate it, well there you go, it’s not for everyone) and the development of the romance, with the two characters onstage together for the majority of the book.
Anyway. Blah blah blah 🙂 That’s your look into “The World Of Tomorrow!”