“A Little Too Broken” .99 SALE! And other news!

I’ve worked the BookBub corner about as thoroughly as I can with my past releases, and they’ve had no interest in the Marc and Jesse books. So I’m trying Bookcaliber, and a .99 deal on ALTB. It’s about the same price, and of course I’ll let you know how it stacks up to BookBub!

I’m so done with promotion I can’t even. I know that “yelling is selling,” and every day I’m not spamming Facebook with how I’m “SO EXCITED” about any piece of good news whatsoever is a day I’m making $0 on books.

But I just can’t. I’m so sick of it! If ever there is a moment I can forget all my life lessons from tradpub, and throw myself at a publisher’s feet and shout “Calgon, Take Me Away!” it’s promo time. What I really want when I finish a novel is to step back, step away, fucking rest. But I can’t afford to! As soon as a novel is ready I have to run run go sell sell now. Some promo days I feel like one of those girls standing next to a shiny new car at an auto show, someone constantly shouting at me, “smile honey smile!” as the car and I spin, spin, spin around on the giant plate…

And now Will Parkinson is shuttering Pride Promotions, my own personal Calgon in the blog tour business. I know there are other businesses out there, but the Flake Level in this business is so high that I approach any new partner with oceans of dread churning in my stomach.

Which is after all why I’m so glad I’ve “surrendered to the higher power” of market forces, and accepted that I might as well write what I want, since the people who are going to read it are about the same number whether I shout it from the rooftops or not…

Anyway. Audiobook report! I’ve recorded six of ten chapters of ALTB: The Audiobook, and I’ve finalized three with “ACX check” passed. I’ve done more in the last two weeks than I have in the last nine months put together. (Okay, in my defense, I got halfway through and chucked what I’d done for quality control issues.) It was really a case of “producer’s block,” not “narrator’s block.” I knew I had the voice, the acting chops, and the great material; I was stymied by “how hard” it was going to be technically to create final content. And I’m over that now.

So, this puppy is definitely going to be submitted in April. How long ACX takes to review and approve, I don’t know. I’ve heard it’s weeks.

I know. Amazon is a goatfucker, so why ACX and not some wider disti? As Amazon is with romance ebooks, ACX is the One Site To Rule Them All when it comes to audiobooks. Another thing that retarded this project was my abortive Shopify experiment, my attempt to prevent Amazon from being my single payer. But people don’t want to download a zip file and sideload extracted content and play it with their phone’s built-in audio player – no, they love that “buy now” one touch Audible thing. You can’t fight Shitty Hall.

Also, ALTB is stuck in KU till the end of May, having auto renewed just before we found out about those $12-100 “borrows” that scammers are getting.

And this is after all a test. If nobody wants to buy it, then I haven’t put a shitload of work into getting it into acceptable formats/going through submission processes/opening accounts with wherever the fuck you can sell audiobooks besides Amazon. I always accessed iTunes for ebooks via D2D, so fuck all if I know how you’d get an audiobook up there. And as with promo, I get exhausted just thinking about logistics. “Calgon, where the fuck are you?”

I’ve been reading A Little Life, which gay novelist Garth Greenwell called “the most ambitious chronicle of the social and emotional lives of gay men to have emerged for many years.” And you know what? I’m totally calling bullshit on that. I’ve already got 2000 words of rebuttal written and I haven’t even finished the book.

Also, funny: it’s an alleged gay novel, written by a woman, that features…a GFY romance! But because the majority of MM readers (not mine, of course, y’all being a much more daring bunch) rarely venture outside their genre comfort zone, most of them don’t even know this book exists. I’ll fix that!

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