My 600 page (almost) complete smut collection is in…yes, Kindle Unlimited!

Yes, it’s true. But, for once, it makes good business sense. These 23 stories are all old, and they’re dead letters at every retail outlet. It was long past time to bundle them all up, and since they weren’t selling anywhere, well… If you’re reissuing 600+ pages of old content, why not give it 90 days in KU? Even at the now-standard ha’penny a page rate (thankee kindly, Guv’nor Bezos!), that’s $3 for a full read! (Like the cover? Very 70s, right? My tribute to all the stroke mags of yore and their dirty stories. It’s a Curaphotography pic I bought some time ago, just waiting for the right time to use it!)

Of course, I say “almost all” because the Luke and Slader series was BANNED on Amazon (the official doublespeak for banned books is that they are “blocked,” a word with no dark historical associations that nevertheless accomplishes the same dark effect). For those of you who haven’t been here long, TL;DR is that a few years ago, smut was king on Amazon, and I was making crazy bank on all these stories at $2.99 apiece for like 10-15k words.

Then, some UK tabloid got its tit in a wringer because little Jordan or Skyler could get hold of Mommy’s Kindle and read the FILTH (caps, remember, UK tabloid) therein. So Waterstone’s, who owns the ebook site Kobo, reacted in panic by deleting *all* erotica from Kobo. All. And then, on a case by case basis, maybe reinstating some of it. Because after all, heaven forfend a small child read a description of what they can see for free in living color using the same technology, but anyway.

And Amazon panicked and instituted what they called the “adult filter” even as they started “blocking” books.

Now, the problem with the “adult filter” was…you, the customer, could not turn it OFF. You didn’t even know it was there.

If you looked for a book using a keyword like “submission” or “captivity” (the titles of the Sam and Colum stories, respectively, thus serving as keyword honeypots), suddenly you’d get “no results,” or you’d get a book on “submission of manuscripts” or some such. To find Brad Vance’s “Luke’s Brutal Abduction,” for instance, you had to search for it *by title.* You already had to know it existed.

Let me repeat myself. You the customer could not turn off the Adult Filter. You the customer were never told it was there in the first place.

There are certain corporate words that make me shudder. “Excited” is the worst, of course, being the most overused corporate PR word – and when I get an email from Amazon about “exciting changes” to their compensation schemes, I immediately shit my pants before I’ve finished the first sentence because it’s always bad news.

The other word is “delight.” It’s all about “delighting” the customer. Which is really bullshit. It was not about delighting the customer who wanted what Amazon blo…BANNED, it was not about “delighting” the customer who never wanted to see it. It was about placating that one bluenose in Arkansas who would see the dirty, dirty smut book, buy it, read it, stroke to it, return it for a refund and then angrily denounce it in a newspaper.

All the bullshit about “delight” is denial. The main goal of Amazon, or anybody else who spouts the D word, is to avoid angering that one perpetually and professionally angry person who lives for an excuse to stir up some shit. If in the process they fail to “delight” thousands of customers, it’s considered worth it.

Facebook is another example. If you post a picture and someone is “offended,” what happens? Shoot first, ask questions later. Your picture is “blocked” and you may even find yourself locked out of Facebook until the case is reviewed. Guilty until proven innocent. It happened to me once with…a picture of Kim Jong Il from Team America.

In fact, Facebook’s “shoot first” policy has actually endangered lives. The New Yorker wrote a story about Syrian refugees in Turkey, trying to find reliable smugglers who wouldn’t take their money and strand them, or put them in a leaky boat and send them to their death. So some of them put together a Facebook page, where they could share information.

And what happened then?

The smugglers who’d been declared unreliable joined the group. Then they posted a dirty picture. Then they notified Facebook that there was an “offensive” picture. And the page was shut down immediately, until some hapless drone in a third world cubicle could be convinced it wasn’t the group’s fault.

And thus that “shoot first ask later” method of “delighting” some sleazy murdering asshole may have cost a life or lives.

Anyway, that’s why Luke and Slader aren’t in this bundle! Because if I attempted to put “blocked” content in it, Amazon’s sniffers could match the text to a “blocked” book, and not only take down the book but even possibly delete my publisher account…again, because we need to “delight” that Arkansas hypocrite at all cost to our other customers.

You can see for yourself what all the fuss is about at these links. Despite the lurid titles of the stories (again, chosen at the time as keyword honeypots!), it’s all consensual adults.

Oh, and it’s very, very, very… HAWT.

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-lukeandsladerthewholestory-1352156-354.html

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/368649

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/luke-and-slader-brad-vance/1117430367?ean=2940149037803

https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id890484688

https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/luke-and-slader-the-whole-story

2 Comments on My 600 page (almost) complete smut collection is in…yes, Kindle Unlimited!

  1. Thanks for including the links to the Luke and Slader stories. I bought the bundle on Amazon but was wondering how to find the “banned” content. Heh. 😀

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