A SAFE AND SPECIAL PLACE
by Brad Vance
Donald Trump, 70s, billionaire, President
Vladimir Putin, 60s, billionaire, President
Kim Jong Un, 30s, broke, Chairman
A Moscow Theater
Just after curtain falls
TRUMP, PUTIN and KIM are in a box, applauding.
Great great, really great, terrific. Loved that scene where the heroic Russian mother wrestles that Ukrainian terrorist to the death.
Where do you get these actors? My father used to kidnap all the best actors from South Korea.
China says I can’t do that anymore.
We have the best acting school in the world. Russian actors are the best.
Our actors are great, terrific. Really great.
Your actors are unpatriotic. They are allowed to address your leaders from the stage. Disrespectfully. Without consequences. I would serve them all polonium tea at the cast party.
It’s just terrible, really terrible. So rude. Theater is no place for politics.
Our reeducation camp graduates make excellent actors. You should hear how convincingly they deliver their lines!
I pay no attention to the theater. I would rather see a man wrestle a bear. That’s entertainment.
I saw the news and the pictures of this Hamilton thing. I didn’t know your country was founded by black people.
No no no. That’s all fiction. Theater has nothing to do with reality.
In my country only reality is portrayed on stage. Many well fed people singing an opera about a bountiful harvest.
Terrific, terrific. I need to tweet that.
(Pulls out phone)
“Theater should celebrate America, our great terrific democracy. No room for negative naysayers.”
(Turns anxiously to Putin)
Is that okay?