Yeah, I just cleared off the “deferred giving” amount due (in my own head) on the ALTB audiobook proceeds. The ebook made $40 this month, the audiobook $18. (Amazon just won’t Whispersync it, even after a major manuscript revision and repeated pleas, so a year later I’m all to hell with it I give up.) But, I was just signed to do another Elsa/Brad book, coming in May 🙂 and my advance has been paid and I decided, yeah, let’s do this. So ALTB has now generated $5,330 in donations to veterans’ organizations in the last three years! Speaking of Elsa/Brad, The Road Home is in the Amazon gayrom top ten! I’ve never been able to do that myself, so a big thanks to PubYourself Press for making shit happen. I’m pretty certain that I’ll be going forward with them on a lot more books in the future. There may be some they don’t want, which I’ll still do on my own, but I’m delighted with the results. I’ve been working [MORE]

Yep, it’s done and gone to AuthorsRepublic… So, it’s officially coming in January! And… in February… “Would I Lie to You: The Audiobook”! I had 40% recorded before I shelved it, but, I’ve chucked it. The sound is so different now from then – not just the move upstairs of my whole audio setup, but me as a narrator. I was talking so fast on the old content, and since Audible pays for words by the yard, the slower the better. Seriously: I’ve seen books that are the same word length as mine that clock on Audible at 10 hours, whereas mine clock at 7.5, and they get to charge $5 more. Fuckity fuck! Apollo came in at about 7 hours according to my MP3 total, but, for some reason Audible’s total is always like 1/2 hour off that. At any rate. I’ve got a rhythm going now. It’s got to be the first thing I do in the morning, before my stomach gurgles, the birds sing, the cars drive, the dogs bark… So, yeah. Like [MORE]

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MT2PX43/ Thanks to all my flying monkeys on #TeamVance who’ve already left their reviews! And yes, Apollo’s Curse: The Audiobook will be off to AuthorsRepublic for review THIS WEEK. I am burning at hyperspeed through the edits. The best thing that ever happened was the downstairs audio PC failure – it’s so nice and warm up here, and my breathing is so much better, that it makes recording go so much more smoothly. I’m now at at 100:50 ratio (100 minutes to edit 50 finished) where I was at a 150:50 ratio, because there was so much work to do on the base audio. And, since Would I Lie to You: The Audiobook is already 40% recorded and edited, that means ANOTHER audiobook in February  at the latest 🙂 Once the audiobook and Road Home promo dust settles, I’ll be ready to start on Game Theory. I have a really great take on the whole cybercrime angle – most authors are focusing on identity theft and bank hacking and [MORE]

CHARACTERS NEIL, male, 20s, cerebral type LIZ, female, 20s, same LOCATION Neil’s apartment TIME Late evening. NEIL and LIZ enter NEIL’s apartment. LIZ is carrying a purse. NEIL Wow, that was good, I’m surprised. LIZ Yeah, so much better than The Force Awakens. Which, I hope it doesn’t offend you, was kind of crappy. NEIL Actually, I agree. I didn’t buy Kylo Ren, you know? I mean, Anakin Skywalker was always a psycho. He cared about his mother, sure, but so did Norman Bates. (LIZ laughs) He cared about Padme, but more because he couldn’t face how he would feel if he lost her, than how she would feel, you know, dying. LIZ Yeah, “I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother.” That’s all me me me, what I lose if you die. NEIL Right. But where was Kylo Ren’s conflict, you know? There was no journey to the Dark Side, we don’t see that character flaw like in Anakin, that the Sith exploited to turn him. They just say “something happened” and he’s just… evil [MORE]

Surprise! Just like Beyonce, I’m dropping a book 🙂 I was brought in to do some rewriting on a partially written book, and the author was generous enough to put me down as co-author. So on December 26th, The Road Home goes live! Blurb to come, but it’s got a sexy EMT/Paramedic romance, and it being a Brad Vance Production, of course I did copious research on the EMS field, rather than just, you know, doing what some people do, shoving two dudes into sexy uniforms and never mentioning their jobs again to save themselves the awful burden of opening a Wikipedia page 🙂 It’s going to be interesting, seeing a book of mine in KU, released by a couple of marketing/promoting pros. In fact… If this book does well, these guys may be my publisher going forward, after Game Theory is released. I’m pretty sure they can sell more books than I can, given that their job will be to promote, advertise, SEO optimize, etc. You know. All the stuff I hate. And I’ve [MORE]

I KNOW. Yadda yadda yadda. But I’m getting it done. My padewan is doing the editing, and I’m dealing with all my challenging challenges, the latest of which is, naturally, the crash of my audiobook PC days after I restart narrating. I’m skint on $ right now, so rather than taking it in to the shop, I’ve moved the setup into the office and connected it all to the writing PC. As you can see, it’s like an olde tyme camera situation – I have to pull that mattress cover over my head to deal with room echo. SIGH. But I just need to finish it. Oh, and remind me never ever ever again to write a book with foreign accents. I know I’m gonna get all kinds of one-stars in the narrator column for the irregularities and overall crappiness of the accents, but fuck it I’ll take it. The audiobook thing has been frustrating, with all my lung problems and stomach gurgles and now equipment failures. And the money, so far, is skint. Whispersync is highway [MORE]

I’m starting to write these specifically for actors in my class, on demand. Yes, I’m popular! Well, okay the plays are 🙂 Seriously, taking these acting classes is the greatest thing I’ve ever done. These little plays are tapping a creative side of me that doesn’t get to come out in the novels. I can write plays as absurd or off the rails as I want, and the crazier the better. IF ONLY by Brad Vance CHARACTERS AGENT ONE, Counterfactual Intelligence Agent, any age/gender, person of color AGENT TWO, Counterfactual Intelligence Agent, any age/gender, person of color NARRATOR, male, very white, late 20s LOCATION A living room/the narrator’s subconscious. TIME Late at night. NARRATOR sits in a comfortable chair. Behind him stage right is AGENT ONE, behind him stage left is AGENT TWO, both in folding metal chairs. The three chairs form a triangle. AGENT ONE and AGENT TWO both hold pads of paper and pens, making notes like therapists. NARRATOR drinks [MORE]

  CHARACTERS ALEX, astronomy grad student, 20s JANE, astronomy grad student, 20s LOCATION Two desks in an observatory. An imaginary monitor hangs above the audience. TIME Late at night. ALEX is examining radio telescope results. His eyes rarely leave the screen during the play. ALEX Would you look at that. Come look at the monitor. Amazing. This wavelength is so regular, it could be man made. Or, you know what I mean. Alien made. JANE rolls her chair over to see. They’re very close now. JANE It could be. It doesn’t look natural to me. ALEX (puts a hand on JANE’s shoulder, startling her) If it’s aliens, do you think they’re friend or foe? JANE It’s hard to tell, isn’t it? What if they already made that decision about us? ALEX Right! Like Galaxy Quest, and if the first thing they ever saw that we beamed into space was Star Trek, then they think we’re great. JANE Or it could be like Contact, because, you know, the world’s first [MORE]

THE JOB INTERVIEW (slightly modified from the a.m. post) By Brad Vance CHARACTERS STACEY, 30ish, HR director at a software company SEAN, 30ish, software genius LOCATION STACEY’s office TIME Business hours STACEY is at her desk. She rises to shake SEAN’s hand when he comes in. STACEY Hi, Sean, I’m Stacey, thanks so much for coming in. Neil speaks very highly of you. SEAN Hi, Stacey, nice to meet you. (SEAN sits down across from her) I told Neil I’d come in and talk to you, but honestly, as I said on the phone, I’m pretty sure this isn’t the job for me. STACEY I understand that, but you have a skill set which, my turn to be honest, we could really use around here right now. SEAN Yeah, the thing is, the whole software architecture thing, I’m trying to move away from, you know, the kind of software you make. I’m really moving in more creative directions. STACEY Sure, sure, but you should know that there are a lot of really exciting things we’re doing with our [MORE]