Okay, it’s the first draft, technically speaking, though I’ve gone over it a bunch of times and tinkered and rewritten. Now it’s time to unleash it on the world, for some to constructively criticize, and for some to say “u suck” (hey, it’s the Internet).
I cried like a baby over some of this. And WTF, because I’ve been through this story how many times? I cried when I wrote the novel, when I rewrote and edited the novel, when I did the audiobook (Patrick crying at dinner was not acting on my part), and now when I did the screenplay.
So the question is, do I have a really emotionally intense story on my hands, that’s going to resonate with all kinds of people, or am I just a big blubbering baby who’s lost sight of reality? I know lots of readers have loved it to death, but how will it play outside the gayrom world? I’ll find out soon enough.
I’ve had to make quite a few changes to the story. Not to the overall story, but to the characters, the dialogue, the situations. Shit that worked in the book (or, as I realized when taking a very hard look at the story, shit that never worked at all that I just glided over) had to go out, or be rewritten. I had to rein my novelist’s tendency to write Action lines about a character’s mood, or why they thought what they did, or to make a cosmic statement, all a big no no in a script. I had to give Jamie more dry, funny lines, because he was coming off as a drip.
OH. And a lot less gay sexin’. Nothing graphic. There’s a “love scene,” but that’s what it is. There’s nothing in it that’s not essential to the truth of the characters, the needs of the story.
It’s not perfect. I could use the help that’s out there, the eyes that don’t see the story the way I’ve seen it for… fuck me, it’s almost four years since I wrote the novel. Fresh eyes will see big flaws I can’t see anymore, in places where I’ve gone snow blind from staring at it.
But this is fucking massive for me. All my life I’ve had the gay kid’s dream of seeing my name on the big screen. And I never did a thing to make it happen.
If nothing else happens, that happened, I wrote the fucker, I did it.