The World Reacts to “A Little Too Broken: The Screenplay”!

Read it here.

The screenplay of “A Little Too Broken” is out and about for feedback, we’ll see! Got this from the guy who runs

“Very strong opening scenes Brad and an excellent idea to set it all in a Humane Society. Lots of emotion dynamics played with to keep the mind at work. I like the way you immediately set up the tone for this story by showing external vs internal contrasts in the character’s behaviour. I really hope the script gets the attention it deserves.”

I got some helpful feedback from a screenwriter on Reddit about my tendency to editorialize emotions in Action lines. I promptly did another purge of that and reposted 🙂 That said, he added, “These are just my thoughts on what I read of the first few pages. I think you do some nice character work and the dialogue is fine.”

And this from a reader of the novel: “I read the script, and though I loved the book, I LOVED this script even more. [Here there were great suggestions.] Otherwise, impressed I am. And thanks so much for sharing. Made my day. It amazes me, truly, that in a few pages, relying mostly on dialog, you convey the heart and soul of a story and left me in tears damn your hide.”

YAY! There are so many people out there in Adviceland who say, throw your first script out, don’t even try till you’ve written three, blah blah. Certainly do not submit it to any competitions because you’ll surely lose! Hey, if I listened to every expert ever, well shit I woulda been in my grave 20 years ago. And all the competitions are closing for the year soon, and I would just fucking kick myself to death all year if I didn’t even fucking try and enter the biggest and best ones. Oh, and by accident I found a “Diversity” competition, closing in three days, where I surely have a better chance  than in the Big Ones. Among other things, they’re looking for writers over 40, or LGBT stories, or stories about disability or under-represented peeps. Score!

When it comes to the fate of the script, I have to remember what happened with my very first “Orland” novel. I’d met a fellow writer on Prodigy (which tells you how long ago that was). He agreed to read it, he did and he told me it was “publishable.” I was so butthurt! I thought that wasn’t a very good review!

It took me years to realize how many manuscripts are so very unpublishable, and that it was quite the compliment. So yes, this is my first screenplay, but I have 12 novels under my belt now, and I’m not new at storytelling. If I get to hear something like “publishable” on my first screenplay, I’ll be delighted.

And look. I’ve read a lot of scripts lately. And I can tell you that just by having a command of grammar, spelling, punctuation and syntax, I’m already in the top 10% of would-be screenwriters. People are putting up a lot of screenplays without having someone, anyone, copy edit them for the basics.

That first “publishable” book? It was the first of three Binky/Doan mysteries I wrote for Berkeley Books. They never sold very well, but what I always heard from editors was, your writing is so clean I hardly have to lift a pencil. So I ended up writing three books in the series, even though none of them really did very well, because editors knew I’d be an easy edit and it lightened their workload.

It’s a pretty depressing time for me. The weather is still shit here, and I’ve even had to reactivate my HappyLight to get my spirits up. Mood stabilizers are keeping me out of the sub-basement, but I’m not getting off the emotional couch much right now.

Finishing the screenplay has been a HUGE positive, and getting the positive feedback even huger. Depression sucks, and I can work through it, write through it, but it takes its toll. And there’s always the pressure of “There must be more money! There must be more money!” grinding away at me.

The only work I’m seeing on Upwork is stuff like “Write me a 50k word novel in two weeks for $500” or “I need 10,000 words edited by midnight, expect six revision demands, I will pay you $2!” Depression doesn’t help either. You get tired just thinking about shit you gotta do, then you can’t do it because it’s too depressing to think about how shitty it is, and so on…

Did I mention the shitty weather? I swear to fucking God if I can make it as a screenwriter I’m out of here, LA here I come. NO MORE WINTERS. A couple more of these will kill me. Shoot if you must but damn I miss the drought.

That said! “Conning Colin” is nearly finished. I’m at 52k words on a 60k required minimum. I’ll be posting some teaser chapters soon. 🙂

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