“The Road Home” Audiobook is up on Audible!

August 4, 2017 // 0 Comments

https://www.audible.com/pd/Romance/The-Road-Home-Audiobook/B074CMK8GZ Barring divine intervention (which could only manifest in the form of several thousand angels each purchasing a full price copy, not a Whispersync add-on), this will be my last audiobook 🙂 I’ve sold a total of 83 audiobooks in ACX since June 1, and pretty much every sale through AuthorsRepublic has been a $1 royalty on a Whispersync add-on. So, given narrating, editing and producing times, I’m making less than minimum wage on these. But, I learned a lot. And I tried! And you know, my voice is like my writing, you either like it or you don’t. Oh yeah. I’m actually writing Game Theory! So far in the first few chapters there’s already been a spectacular train crash and a massive wind turbine explosion. Blowin’ shit up is [MORE]

The humor piece that The New Yorker gave an “Evident Merit” rejection!

August 2, 2017 // 0 Comments

Why not, right? See for yourself. As noted earlier, The New Yorker recently sent me a rejection letter, declining the piece “despite its evident merit.” Which is a pretty good rejection from them! By the time I got the rejection letter, three months had passed and Bill Gates’ comment was no longer newsworthy… that’ll teach me to submit newsworthy humor, eh? Enjoy!   Welcome to RoboTax 2016! By Brad Vance   According to Bill Gates, if a robot is going to do a human’s job, it should also pay a person’s income taxes. – CNBC.com   Hello! And welcome to RoboTax 2016! Let’s get started on your 1040-R! We’ve automatically entered your personal information from your IP address. Now we’ll ask you a few questions. Were you first put in service at this location in 2016? If so, enter your activation date. Thanks! Please fill in the number of human jobs you replaced. If you don’t know this number, you can take the Standard [MORE]

Amazon’s “Improved Improving Improvement” to KU, NO notice, NO explanation

August 1, 2017 // 0 Comments

Just another Bezosteroid crashing into my inbox… THIS is why I can’t make a living. Because Amazon not only changes the rules with no notice… they don’t tell you what rule they changed. “Today we are releasing our next iteration of Kindle Edition Normalized Page Count – KENPC V3.0. This release makes a number of improvements to how we determine the length of books relative to one another and how we measure pages read. We expect payouts to the vast majority of authors to be largely unchanged as a result of these updates. In addition, we will pay at least $18 Million from the KDP Select Global Fund in July. We are constantly working to improve our programs and increase the fairness of how we allocate the KDP Select Global Fund. Our goal remains to build a service that rewards authors for their work while continuing to attract more readers and encouraging them to read more and more often. As always, we welcome feedback and ideas about how we can improve [MORE]

The Smart Contract Future: Freeing Creatives from Amazon Forever

July 28, 2017 // 5 Comments

How do I Hate Thee, Amazon? Let Me Count the Ways. The technology I’m about to discuss will inevitably blow Amazon out of the creative content market, and the list below, of how awful Amazon is to content creators, is why it’s going to happen so much faster that the tech alone would dictate… As a self published writer and audiobook producer for five years now, I’ve seen every ugly trick Amazon has up their sleeves. They’ve finished their Walmart-ization of the ebook publishing industry, luring us all in with absurdly high KU royalties for exclusivity, destroying all competing platforms, and then, just like Walmart, saying to their suppliers, “We’re the only game in town now, so we’re cutting the price we pay you and you can like it or… well, go out of business.” But there’s hope for us, not in the form of a new website, but a new technology, one that’s as truly “disruptive” to old content provision models as Amazon itself once was to shopping. I became [MORE]

I’m leaving Gayrom… for a new filmmaking career.

July 22, 2017 // 8 Comments

Game Theory will be my last gay romance. And I’m only writing that to bring closure to the Marc and Jesse saga. Oh, and be warned – there may be no sex scenes in it at all. My ability to put Tab A into Slot B in a different scenario one more time is pretty exhausted! And people who love these characters will follow them to the end regardless. Bring on the one star reviews for “buk haz no sex,” I don’t care! There are a lot of reasons for this, but let’s start with economics. The failure of Conning Colin really hit me hard. It’s so fucking good. And I mean Publishers Row good. And it tanked. And that was with aggressive sales and marketing work by my publisher. My two Marc and Jesse audiobooks have sold a total of … 67 copies in the last two months. So given narrating, editing and production time, I’m making less than minimum wage on my audiobooks. Amazon sucks, let’s not forget that. I can’t even know how many of [MORE]

“Strength in Numbers: The Audiobook” is LIVE on Audible!

July 10, 2017 // 2 Comments

It’s here! Part 2 of the Game Players trilogy, now available on Audible! https://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Strength-in-Numbers-Audiobook/B073RRKTMW Man, it takes almost as long to get one on sale as it does to record one… I’m about 2/3 of the way through The Road Home. And then it’s probably break time re audiobooks. WILTY only sold about 40 copies so far, which I don’t even know how much money that is, since Whispersync ebook add-on sales ($2 or less in royalty) aren’t broken out on ACX from sale-sales ($8) until you get your sales report… So what, may I ask, is the use of the ACX sales figures page if it doesn’t even tell you how much money you’re making? It’s a ton of work to do an audiobook, and if the $ are this minimal, I need to focus on other things. It sucks, because for the first time, I’m getting solid 5-star ratings on my performance on WILTY. But Daddy needs… well, a job. I was just crowing about [MORE]

Stoked! “Evident Merit” rejection from the New Yorker!

June 30, 2017 // 0 Comments

I sent in a humor piece, gosh about three months ago, Geologic Ages of Time enough for me to forget I did it. Which is really the best way to submit a manuscript, enter a contest, or do an audition – just forget about it and then if there’s a result, whoopee! I got a rejection yesterday that “We’re sorry to say that your piece wasn’t right for us, despite its evident merit.” Which made me very, very happy at a time when I need some good news. Now, the New Yorker is well known for its understatement in these things. So granting that the piece had “evident merit” is pretty damn good. It means that it got somewhere up the ladder there before it fell back down again. And that it was good, just… Not right for them, or not the right time, or someone didn’t like it, or who knows. But. After the financial failure of Colin, I needed a tangible reminder from the outside world that I’m good at writing. That I’m… That [MORE]

MY GAY AGENDA FOR SUMMER ’17! Marc and Jesse are up NEXT!

June 18, 2017 // 0 Comments

Yeah, it’s been a strange time. Conning Colin, to both my and my publisher’s surprise, tanked at the box office. I was sure as sure can be that, well, you know. It’s my best work, it’s a sparkling romantic comedy, when your straight male publisher loves it I mean you know it’s good… So. I can’t help but try and run an autopsy. I know that some readers and reviewers were confused by the multiple facades of Henry / Hamilton / Dillinger, that it wasn’t apparent to them that all three were the same person. I thought it was perfectly clear and so did many readers, but, what can you do? I know that I committed a cardinal sin in fucking with trope. That is, there’s a trope where the “high class escort” who’s all Christian Grey and shit is the MC and that’s how I intro’d Henry… only to blow that out of the water by the end of the second chapter, revealing him to be not Hamilton Dillon, Rich Elegant [MORE]